Anything But Calm

Sit down. Calm.

Sound: applause.

It’s my turn now.

Walk out. Calm.

Applause.

Bow.

Sit down. Calm.

Bench. Too low?

Adjust.

Good. Calm.

Hands on keys.

Remember first measure.

Get ready to play. Calm.

Play.

Notes flow out.

Music fills the room. Calm.

Play my heart into my clean white keys.

Flowing sound is in my head.

I am playing well. Calm.

Finish.

Final notes die away…

Silence. Calm.

Stand up.

Applause.

Bow. Calm.

Back to my seat.

“That was fantastic, Katya.”

Shh…more music now. Calm.

Not my music.

Someone else’s turn to play his heart into his keys.

Hands freeze in my lap. Calm.

Come on, hands. It’s over now.

My music is only an echo, gone to everyone.

Weeks, months of work are out of my hands in minutes. Calm.

It’s OK. It was appreciated.

But Katya, they won’t remember it.

And despite everything, my music still fills my head. Anything but calm.