Numb

Tonight what I feel has come to none

Even as Neruda’s saddest lines hum

Through the night sky like blood on the moon

Only tears unfurl, no impending doom

Tonight I feel as I have a thousand times

As I have read over and over the sweetest lines

Those that have pushed my heart to explode

To revel, to shout, to laugh and cry over the simplest ode

Tonight I feel as though I have slept

Through the storm and thunder of those who have wept

The hail of hearts crashed to the floor

The sound of an opening window to a closing door

Tonight I feel like I have cried

For I have lost those who seem to have died

Although they stand before me like statues of glass

Simple souvenirs of a completely different past

Tonight I feel a wave of weariness pass over me

For my mind refuses to neglect the things I see

The new beginnings in which we take delight

Yet do not overshadow the worsened plight

Tonight I see myself as I never have before

I am numb, somehow wishing rather to be sore

For I hold no hand in mine and I clasp nothing but hurt

And I find myself wondering if I should want to be her

For tonight I realize the truth about myself

It was mere hope and nothing else

That maybe I am not desolate nor am I a hopeless case

That maybe I could have a new start to embrace

Tonight I realize I am back to where I started

Back to where I thought I’d long departed

The race run back to the starting line

The merciless fight of the sands of time

Tonight I sit here alone once more

A few empty chairs and a cold wooden door

Sleeping to dream of nothing but static and silver

And yet still wondering if I’d like to be her.