Looking Into Absence

Looking forward into who i am,

Only i can see what is not there

Only i can conquer the emptiness

Invisible existence of obscurity remains unnoticed

My physical absence of sight

Makes it hard to wake up in the morning

My eyes own sensitivity to the sun

My mind blinded by the light

When i am awake my eyes deceive me

they trick me into thinking i am well-adjusted

Fool my mind into believing i am in control

stability, completion, clarity, drips from my fingers

I wash my life away with the tears i shed

peripheral emotions lingering around my heart

Pour into the unfocused vision

The focus that races down my cheeks

Lashes and lids come together

Squinting to try and make these tears all right

I drown my thoughts

But i can bear being underwater

it’s a freedom from exclusion

My tears contribute to the water filling my mind,

filling my hand surrounding my feet, overflowing my heart…

I’m waiting for a drought to come along

I swear i will be strong

I promise i won’t give up

I won’t allow disadvantage to govern my life

I won’t look into my emptiness and let the tears fall in

The void of myself is all i have

And i’m not giving up without a fight