Sara Arnoudse

PRIVILEGED SECRET

In the fifth grade they asked us to draw a picture

Of what we thought heaven looked like.

While all of the other little boys and girls fought over

The gold, yellow, and white pencils

To draw pictures of radiant angels

With sparkling wings and halos

Sitting upon fluffy white clouds,

I dressed the coarse construction paper

In shades of deep brown, forest green, and lake blue.

Every detail of the campground and lake flowed through the pencils

With no interruptions needed for contemplating or recollection.

RVs and tents constructed, the ranger station properly labeled

“Anger Station” where the “R” had been spray painted over—

The joke of the previous year.

At the bottom I wrote in crude cursive: Michigan (My Heaven).

When my picture was done I held it back to admire it.

Sitting in the middle of the picture was an unintended yet appropriate

beacon

Of a campfire surrounded by nine chairs.

I had never been good at drawing people so I had left them unoccupied.

The chairs may as well have been filled

For when I looked at them, I knew there was one for each of my cousins

And I knew just which chair went with whom.

When it came time to present our artwork to the class

I quickly volunteered to go first, proud of my depiction.

As I held my drawing up for the class to see,

Concealed giggles infected the classroom.

Poor Ms. Clarke thought I had misunderstood the assignment.

I hopelessly attempted to explain my masterpiece,

Not understanding why the other kids couldn’t get it.

Discouraged, I hurriedly escaped back to the safety of my blue plastic chair.

The next summer as I was sitting around the campfire

With my cousins, free of worry or care and filled with bliss,

I chuckled to myself as I thought of my drawing.

Suddenly, being there, it all made sense.

Like heaven this was a place people could try to understand, picture,

But its real meaning and power was a secret,

Shared amongst those who experienced it.

A silent grin spread across my face,

Realizing what a wonderful secret we held now and forever.